What happens when reality doesn't catch up to your dreams?
Sitting here wondering...
Can I really have fun? Somehow I'm annoyed by the thought of having fun.
Is it okay?
I'm not happy nor am I sad, I'm just neutral..
My face is laughing and smiling, doesn't mean that my heart is..
What's the point of living when you're dying inside?...
....
Caveman or what?
Det är som om du varit uppväxt i en grotta, eller under jorden utan att riktigt förstå vad man ska eller borde göra i vissa situationer.
Situationer som är SÅ uppenbarliga.
Du känner dig förvirrad och fattar inte vad man ska göra.
Du fattar heller inte när någon SÄGER till dig vad du ska göra, du blir förvirrad och försöker lista ut vad man borde göra.
Du fattar heller inte när någon förklarar ord för ord VAD DET ÄR DU SKA GÖRA.
Du börjar förstå LITE när man pekar ut fel och rätt i situationen... Det är DÅ din hjärna börjar fatta att "jaha, jag ska göra såhär"!
Jag försöker ibland lista ut hur din hjärna riktigt funkar, för det känns som om du levt ensam i en grotta och aldrig förstått hur människan fungerar, HUR man ska agera i olika situationer.
Och tro mig, till och med en liten 4 åring förstår sig på sånt.. Men du... Jag finner inga ord.
Jag kan inte leva såhär..
I wanna believe that I'm still alive for some reason...
.. And I would like to know what that reason is...
No more international..
Asså vad fan är det jag VILL!?? Jag kan fan inte lista ut vad fan det är jag vill!! Fucking INSAAAAAANE!!
I feel like doing something stupid!
Like getting married to first guy who proposes, or I don't know!
Something that makes me spend every minute of my life regretting.
I can't breathe! Trying to gasp for air! Trying to find a loophole out of this so called "world" we live in. And all the "people" walking around!
I feel like I'm going insane!
"Letting go doesn't mean giving up, but rather accepting that there are things that cannot be"
I'm back to square one. Like the last 1,5 years didn't exist. Like it was just a dream.
I'm back to where I started, and you are but a memory...
I won't go back to the person I was, I won't.
Baby steps..
Who am I, and who are you?
Stupidity is judged by appearance
Mental breakdown!
I DON'T BELIEVE IT!!
NO FUCKING WAY!
IT'S NOT TRUE!!!
WAKE THE FUCK UP!!
WAKE UPPPPPPP!!!!!!!
Rewind.
Can you imagine how much time you've wasted by not doing anything?
All those time you took for granted.
Keep thinking "I'll do it next time" or "I'll say it next time".
What if there's no next time?
I just need ONE minute..
No, just ONE second would be enough.
Just to see him for one second.
Can't believe I've had so many seconds I didn't treasure having him around.
And now it's too late....
Kinda hate myself right now..
Alexs funeral..
Today felt like a dream..
A dream I never could wake up from.
I don't wanna be in here,
It's so AWFUL!
It hurts soooo BAD!
I know I should let him go in peace but I can't!!!
It's painful to watch the coffin being buried.
HIM being buried.
Dear GOD if this is just a dream,
Please let me wake up NOW!
